Ode to Pentlands Men’s Shed
(By Jack Barnett – October 2026)
The Pentlands Men’s Shed are a happy crew
So let me tell you what some of us do.
I’ll start with Stewart, now he is no fool
He can always tell you how to handle your tool.
Then there’s John,
Now I have to stress
If you work with him there will be no mess
Next is Iain from Livingstone who likes to mess about in his boat-
If he ever falls overboard
I hope he can float.
Then there’s Lyall who looks after the money
He also does the BBQ
Providing it’s sunny
He brings all the stuff and makes up the rolls
Some of you help, God bless your souls.
Alex is our entertainment convener
Now he’s a big bloke
Every time he meets you he wants to tell you a joke.
Next is Mike, now he’s never late,
That’s how he gets parking right next to the gate.
Jim and Jan are our building team
The word PYRAMID comes to mind, if you know what I mean
Just joking – it will be fine,
I’m sure – you’ll finish it some time.
Then there’s Murray and Tony – this pair like a treat,
You should see how many biscuits the two of them eat.
Next is big Davy who used to be a cop,
I’ll bet he kept all the baddies – on the hop.
Then there’s Russell who likes to fish and make jam-
I’m impressed: I really really am!!
Colin’s our gardener if you please.
He cuts the grass and looks after our trees.
He’s quite clever and knows what to do.
He’ll soon have the place looking like the Gardens at Kew.
Next is Bill who always brings his own flask,
Is there something wrong with our tea or coffee I hear you ask.
We have 3 Ali’s at the Shed,
So let’s go through them head by head.
First up is Mr Skinner,
If he’s in your Shed, you’re on to a winner.
Next is Mr McKenzie, a slouch he ain’t.
Among other things, he likes to paint.
Then there’s Mr McKillop, well what can I say
I think I’ll leave him for an other day.
We also have 2 Robins
No, I do not jest
But I honestly don’t know if they’ve got a red breast!!!
Then there’s our chairman, Robert
Well to us he’s just Rab
All the work he does is truly fab.
Nobody possibly could do it better.
Oh, and he also does the weekly newsletter.
Not forgetting all the lads who do the kindling
They step up to the plate when stocks are dwindling
Any body can have a bash
And help bring in some extra cash
Martin and Robert are our computer buffs
We just let them get on with all that stuff
Our secretary’s name is Nigel
And he’s doing the job really well
I also know he writes for a paper
So I’ll need to ask him about it later.
There’s Murdo, Eddie, Brian, Keith, Ian, Jim and Ron,
The names just go on and on and on.
If I’ve missed anybody out I do apologise
But for an old man like me
Names are hard to memorise
So if you come to the shed to work
Or just for a blether
It’s good
Because it brings us together.
END
